I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
