im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
