...so i touched it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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