On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
