What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
