She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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