we made out on top of his cat.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
