she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
