I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
