he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
