Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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