Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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