Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
