I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
