Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
