I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
