It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
