Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
