just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
