Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
