The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
