You really coming over, don't trick.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
