i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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