I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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