i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
