At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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