too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
