Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
