Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that's an acceptable place to lick
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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