She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
