I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
