You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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