So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They took my balls.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
