The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
