Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
