pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
