she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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