I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
