So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
