He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
