pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
