...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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