Kiss
Puke
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I know her cup size but not her name....
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