his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
