just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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