Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Barsexuality is the new black.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
