New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
