Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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