Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
