i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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