Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
