when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
