They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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