This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
