I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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